thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
