We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
