"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The ass gains better be worth it
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
