People with herpes should wear stickers.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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