Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
