i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
