I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
well you can't waste a boner
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
