Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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