the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
