Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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