My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
