True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
