If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Never underestimate the power of titties
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