So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
