he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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