Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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