I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
