I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
