I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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