I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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