he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
