Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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