Even the bartender felt bad for me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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