Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
