And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
