Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
