the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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