You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
