3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
