you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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