just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
