pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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