I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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