what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
