No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
