ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
