Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
A bitchslap is in order.
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