I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
