He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
