hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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