I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
