Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
