They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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