my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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