I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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