On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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