we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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