worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize