well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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