Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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